BAG LADY

We're about to become liveaboards, the bane of society. Just as people who live in houses don't want neighbors who live in cars, people who live near marinas don't want neighbors who live in boats. 

In fact, marinas call the space for people like us, "transient docks."

Our segment of society, "the liveaboards," are infamous for messy housekeeping. We have all kinds of flotsam tied to our decks, like bikes, water cans and surfboards. We're known to do despicable things like hang laundry from the lifelines and steal toilet paper. We are the unkempt, unwashed derelicts, the unshaven vagabonds, the squatters, yes, the undesirables.

Everyone thinks sailors are adventurous. Alas, we're really just trying to find a place to tie up.

The only difference between me and a bag lady is that my bags are expensive -- and waterproof.