Tomorrow, I turn 50.
Recently a wise young man asked me, "How does it really feel to be turning 50?"
That got me thinking about life and aging, living and dying and landmarks -- and why turning 30 was totally devastating but turning 50 is utterly fabulous.
Twenty years ago, when I turned 30, I was living a life that probably looked fine from the outside, but on the inside, I was restless and unhappy. The life I had was not the life I wanted -- and I felt hopelessly stuck in it. I wanted to live by the ocean, but I was in the middle of Texas. I wanted to travel, but I'd never even been out of the country, nor even far from the southwest. I was married to someone who didn't share my adventurous spirit or the burning desire to indulge it.
Now as I'm turning 50, I'm poised on the glorious launch of a life that combines travel and the ocean in a way that would have blown my 30-year-old mind. The universe has given me an equal partner, a co-captain, a friend, a husband who brought with him my same love for adventure and the burning desire to indulge it, a desire that manifests itself in the hard, hard everyday work of making dreams come true. As a bonus, he has a heart as deep as the ocean and lets me sail there.
So, how do I feel about turning 50? The answer seems to be less about aging and more about living.
When I turned 30, I felt like I was dying. Turning 50, I feel like I'm just beginning to live.
Recently a wise young man asked me, "How does it really feel to be turning 50?"
That got me thinking about life and aging, living and dying and landmarks -- and why turning 30 was totally devastating but turning 50 is utterly fabulous.
Twenty years ago, when I turned 30, I was living a life that probably looked fine from the outside, but on the inside, I was restless and unhappy. The life I had was not the life I wanted -- and I felt hopelessly stuck in it. I wanted to live by the ocean, but I was in the middle of Texas. I wanted to travel, but I'd never even been out of the country, nor even far from the southwest. I was married to someone who didn't share my adventurous spirit or the burning desire to indulge it.
Now as I'm turning 50, I'm poised on the glorious launch of a life that combines travel and the ocean in a way that would have blown my 30-year-old mind. The universe has given me an equal partner, a co-captain, a friend, a husband who brought with him my same love for adventure and the burning desire to indulge it, a desire that manifests itself in the hard, hard everyday work of making dreams come true. As a bonus, he has a heart as deep as the ocean and lets me sail there.
So, how do I feel about turning 50? The answer seems to be less about aging and more about living.
When I turned 30, I felt like I was dying. Turning 50, I feel like I'm just beginning to live.
5 comments:
You give me HOPE, Tammy!!!
And hope there is, my velcro friend. It just gets better. xxoo
Brilliant. This is exactly why I love you so much. Have a WONDERFUL birthday! xoxoxoxo
"he has a heart as deep as the ocean and lets me sail there." I had to take a little pause and after I read that one tam. beautiful. Do I know that "wise young man"?
WOW! How amazingly well said! I hope I can follow in your foot steps. 30 took a HUGE toll on me and much like you I was in a place where I wasn't suppose to be. Here I am just around the corner from 32 and it's already beginning to feel different and better. Hope you had a SUPER birthday. You are a wonderful woman and an inspiration to me Aunt Tammy! Love you....
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