Thursday, December 31, 2009


Tomorrow, I turn 50.

Recently a wise young man asked me, "How does it really feel to be turning 50?"

That got me thinking about life and aging, living and dying and landmarks -- and why turning 30 was totally devastating but turning 50 is utterly fabulous.

Twenty years ago, when I turned 30, I was living a life that probably looked fine from the outside, but on the inside, I was restless and unhappy. The life I had was not the life I wanted -- and I felt hopelessly stuck in it. I wanted to live by the ocean, but I was in the middle of Texas. I wanted to travel, but I'd never even been out of the country, nor even far from the southwest. I was married to someone who didn't share my adventurous spirit or the burning desire to indulge it.

Now as I'm turning 50, I'm poised on the glorious launch of a life that combines travel and the ocean in a way that would have blown my 30-year-old mind. The universe has given me an equal partner, a co-captain, a friend, a husband who brought with him my same love for adventure and the burning desire to indulge it, a desire that manifests itself in the hard, hard everyday work of making dreams come true. As a bonus, he has a heart as deep as the ocean and lets me sail there.

So, how do I feel about turning 50? The answer seems to be less about aging and more about living.

When I turned 30, I felt like I was dying. Turning 50, I feel like I'm just beginning to live.


kiminnm said...

You give me HOPE, Tammy!!!

tammy kennon said...

And hope there is, my velcro friend. It just gets better. xxoo

Lisa said...

Brilliant. This is exactly why I love you so much. Have a WONDERFUL birthday! xoxoxoxo

Brett Wyatt said...

"he has a heart as deep as the ocean and lets me sail there." I had to take a little pause and after I read that one tam. beautiful. Do I know that "wise young man"?

hannaH said...

WOW! How amazingly well said! I hope I can follow in your foot steps. 30 took a HUGE toll on me and much like you I was in a place where I wasn't suppose to be. Here I am just around the corner from 32 and it's already beginning to feel different and better. Hope you had a SUPER birthday. You are a wonderful woman and an inspiration to me Aunt Tammy! Love you....